I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize