This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
