I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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