I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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