let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
