I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
