Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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