You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
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Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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