My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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