Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
