I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize