Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
