Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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