he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had to cum in my sink.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
