I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
