By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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