Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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