it hurts more in the daytime
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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