i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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