I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
