I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
