Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize