He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can you bring me the toilet please
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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