a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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