i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
