So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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