you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
