I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize