I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
