I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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