I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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