Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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