Your tits are I can't wait for
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
