We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
