We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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