He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
