called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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