I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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