Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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