SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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