i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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