I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
