I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
