Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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