from now on my penis is your penis
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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