so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
