hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
