ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize