What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize