we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Randomize
