I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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