she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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