I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize