Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
