I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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