I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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