I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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