Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
